Just Like Aunt Clara
by ItsLittleRoo
Summary: Rosemary Wallace is a nineteen-year-old college student studying abroad in Tokyo, Japan hoping to leave her dark past in the dust. Thanks to her positive attributes Rosemary is always surrounded by adoring friends who refuse to let her be on her own for at least five minutes. With so many good things happening what could go wrong?
1. Aunt Clara (Chap 1)

"Rosemary, if art is the pentacle of your pain then why do you continue to torture yourself with that sketchbook? Your past is anything but golden so is destroying all remains of it not the best solution of moving on?", I thought for a moment, looking deep into the corner of the office as if I would find my answer within the large dust bunny. Anti social, poor, depressing, mentally ill, and an unfortunate case were the labels that shaped my childhood.

I remembered receiving a gift from my aunt Clara who was an amazing artist, with a desire to be like her she gave me a sketchbook and a pack of coloured pencils as a Christmas gift. "Rosemary, you don't want to be like me.", I use to fight against this absurd statement, which she would say quite a bit, but I didn't know what she truly was, not until my seventeenth birthday came around, I was forced to end Aunt Clara's life. "Not very social today? Are you at least adjusting to your medication well?", I nodded to Hayabasa Bunko covering my mouth after a large yawn decided to intrude. She wrote something down on her clipboard then looked to the clock refusing to lose the plain Jane expression that would make me so uncomfortable. "We aren't making as much progress as we did when you first started coming to me, unfortunately time is up so I hope next week is different?", I shrugged pushing myself up from my chair.

"Wallace, I do hope you know that I worry about you. If you're speaking the truth then I'm glad you're recovering at your own pace, but if not we could always find in hospital patient stay for further examination.", Hayabasa was speaking of a mental hospital under glorified tongues, I fought back the laugh threatening to escape my mouth. Instead, I slipped my arms into the sleeves of my baby pink coat and quickly bowed to her. "I thank you for your concern but I really am working to better myself, and am actually succeeding in my efforts.", Her smile faded as if she could see through my facade, as if she could tell that every attempt of reassurance I made was far from fool proof.

Depression, Anxiety, Bi-Polar disorder, Sleep paralysis, PTSD, and Paranoia Schizophrenia, in societal views I was an obvious lost cause but society didn't know about the issues I would constantly butt heads with. These issues came after Aunt Clara's death, I felt miserable, held prisoner by my own bed, ruthless hallucinations, and the feeling of constantly being watched, small things such as the screams of nearby children at play triggered the screams of my aunt begging me to kill her. To put her out of her misery using her own husbands remains.

As I pressed the crosswalk button a familiar song that reminded me of my grandfather rung loud, the Facts of Life theme song which he hated with all of his heart because I would play it on repeat just to annoy him. He even stopped shopping at the local Walgreens for a few months just because thetrack played once inside of the store, pulling my cellphone from my white purse I silenced the source of the nostalgic song by answering it;

"Hello?", I started off the conversation while walking across the street at a quick pace.

"Hey babe, I was calling to ask if you wanted to go out tonight? You rock at karaoke and the guys like having you around.", Ayoma Gengyo, he was my only friend growing up so it made sense that we would be house mates in college.

"Sorry Gengyo, I have an essay due tomorrow but maybe another time?", I heard a sigh of disappointment come from his end, it broke my heart. But I was in Tokyo to start a new, so my studies were always going to be my top priority.

"Awe man..just keep the door locked until I'm home. I heard there was a ghoul spotted in our area so be alert.", My cheeks burned, it flattered me to know that he cared so much.

"Thanks for your concern, you should hurry up and finish your photography project!"

"Good bye babe."

Ending the call I hurried down the steps of the subway station to jump into the cart that was just about to leave. My blonde ringlets bounced about, my ankle high pink boots made loud clacking noises against the smooth concrete floor, and the plush key chains on my purse could not stay still, as if they were hyperactive seven year olds.

No one in my university would suspect me of having such a horrible past, to them I was intelligent, cute, kind, and loved by many, the definition of perfection. "Sorry.", I said after accidentally bumping into someone wearing a hood and cold mask. They were no taller than me and remained still, I began questioning myself whether or not he was a cardboard cutout of someone because of how lifeless he appeared, "Rosemary!", I heard a high pitched voice shout my name, grabbing the pole that the hooded boy was also clinging to I attempted to lean on the tip of my toes. A head full of orange hair pushed through the sea of people that threatened to knock the person down without even having to say a word, "Hey Jennifer!", Jennifer Coyle was a transfer student from Switzerland, unfortunately we were not in the same departments so seeing one another on campus was a rare occurrence. "I couldn't reach you on your cellphone since I left mine at my dorm..again..but I was meaning to ask if we could go out tomorrow?", She asked placing her hand on the pole as well but with a tissue between them to keep from the spreading of germs.

"I should be able to, where do you want to go?", Smiling wide showing the gap between her two front teeth Jennifer held a flyer to me. "Christmas concert?", The paper was covered with poorly drawn trees and gifts, was it made by a kindergartner? "I know you're not going home to America so why don't you try spending it with your new friends?", Her endearing personality warmed my heart to it's core but I didn't like celebrating holidays, without my aunt..every flashing light strung up against a surface only looked gray to me. It's been like this for almost three years now, I missed seeing the color that everyone would gush over 24/7. But if I continued to find excuses my friends would gradually grow to be suspicious of me, 'Why does she avoid events?' 'It's her birthday, she's so depressing.' 'I don't think she is who she says she is.', I couldn't let my life return to the way it was before.

"I would love to go!", Taking the flyer from her small hands I folded it tucking it into the pocket of my purse. Jennifer had a look of satisfaction, like she just convinced the Grinch who stole Christmas to return the items he swiped. I wasn't a Grinch, was I? "After the concert we'll go out to eat, dress in traditional colors. Got it?", Jennifer reminded me of my mom for some reason. She always wanted to match everyone with the event, to get us out of the house as much as possible, and to make sure we all knew how much we were loved. "See ya' tomorrow then!", Stepping out of the now open subway cart doors my friend and I parted ways.

Looking over my shoulder I saw him, the hooded person from before, staring dead at me.


	2. A Framed Wilted Rose (Chap 2)

Most of my life I never knew the exact definition of the word, "hope". I just thought it was something people relied on in times of hardship, technically I wasn't wrong but then again I was far from right.

Hope is more than just a wall you lean against, hope is beautiful, hope is powerful, hope is your reminder of sunshine on a rainy day, and hope can never truly be lost. Killing Aunt Clara forced me to dig my nails deep into the dirt to find what people called "hope", but little did I know, all I had to do was look up from the ground and smile at the rain that would beat down mercilessly on me. My hope was not lost, I was just blind.

Walking into the apartment I shared with Gengyo I tore off the brown checkered scarf that hung from my neck, the inviting warmth that was beginning to tighten around my medium frame practically pulled my coat and boots off for me. Dropping the keys in the bowl beside the door and turning the lock I walked into our cozy living room, pictures with family and friends were either hung up on the plain egg shell colored walls or sat comfortably on a flat surface.

Walking into my bedroom I opened the door, large brown eyes landing immediately on the bed. They beckoned for me to lay down, to allow them to shut their eyes after days of staying open, but they should have known at this point..that sleep would be an impossible task.

Plopping down on the wooden computer chair in front of my desk I reached into one of it's four drawers and pulled out my pastel green laptop, a fond childhood memory, a simple topic yet a complicated topic, especially when it came to my childhood. I had to think of something with deep meaning but bland details so I wouldn't reveal too much about my past, so the best memory to chose was when a police officer gave me a purple rose on the day of my aunts funeral. He said that I was courageous but held an expression of concern, as if he knew of the troubling past I was forced to endure and the future I would have to overcome.

He became like a father to me, movie nights, shopping trips, and vacations, his name was Mr.O'Conner and became the highlight of my life. His smile was goofy, he didn't know how to not act like a child in public, but taught me important lessons that I had yet to forget.

Mr.O'Conner was killed in the line of duty a month before I left for college, it gave me a chance to attend his funeral but it didn't give me the chance to move on at my own pace. But I kept the rose framed to preserve our memory, to show that despite the fact that the rose had wilted, my memory of him never will

"Rosie..Rosie..wake up!", Opening my eyes I came into contact with a familiar face, Ken Kaneki who was also in the Literature department. "Ken..Kaneki..", I mumbled in a scratchy voice. He smiled, blushing I smiled in unison with him. I always thought he was a really cute person but seeing him smile felt like a mythological story come to life, "Call me Kaneki. But get up, we have to go.", Keneki's cold hand wrapped around my wrist reminding me of a snowflake landing on my pale skin, so gentle you were unaware of it's existence but you knew it landed on you. "How did you get into my apartment?", He looked confused, was I really in his apartment?

"Rosie, You've been missing for five days. Don't you remember at all of what happened?", Taking a glance around I began to realize that I was no longer in the place I called home..I was in..where exactly was I? The room appeared abandoned with the stench of something rotting in the air, being in this type of situation could have possibly only meant one thing, this was a ghoul claimed area.

"Now let's go treat your wounds, a cup of Anteiku coffee has your name on it.", Coffee, my Aunt Clara loved coffee, she mentioned prior to her death that it was the only thing that really satisfied her taste buds. Kaneki continued repeating my name reminding me of a broken record, looking behind him I noticed a figure standing in the door way. Meeting with its red abyss eyes that glowed against the darkness I began to lose consciousness, "Rosie..!", Kaneki no longer had an adoring sweet face, instead it was replaced by a complete stranger. Starch white hair, black finger nails, a sense of dread looming over his head, and sin clinging to him like a tick. "Kaneki?"

The voice was not in fact Ken Kaneki's, instead it was the voice of my dear best friend Gengyo attempting to wake me from a dream I couldn't describe as good or bad. "Sorry for waking you up but sleeping like this must be terrible for your back.", His pale face which glowed with a pink hue thanks to the harsh winter winds stared at me full of the same confusion Kaneki had. Looking to the clock I saw that it was around 10:30 AM, "You must have fallen asleep after finishing your essay, you should go to bed.", Who was that man who replaced Ken Kaneki's presence and who was in the doorway spying on the two of us?

"Rosie, you've been distant as of late. Are you really and truly okay?", My bedroom was dimly lit with my desk lamp being the only source of light between us, our large shadows silently dancing against the walls with each movement we made. This scene was much like the korean dramas Jennifer was so obsessed with, the boy tries to confront the girl who only widened the distance between her and civilization, wanting to cross the bridge but terrified of it being burned along with the memories of the past the two shared. "I'm just a little home sick, I should be fine after I talk to my mom on Skype for a few hours.", More like minutes, my mom wasn't much for speaking over the phone.

A flash of light went off illuminating everything before me, "If you say so. I'm off to bed so I won't be too tired for tomorrow, you get some rest too.", Lowering the camera from his line of vision Gengyo smiled, obviously pleased that he caught me in such a groggy state.

He exited the room taking his shadow with him, "So annoying.", Replacing my current outfit with a pair of pajamas I yawned, crawling under the bedsheets that called out to me.

I use to think I was the red dress within a crowd of gray suits, the light to a depressed individuals eyes, instead I found myself blind again.

I couldn't see the red dress, the light in anyone's eyes, or the hope I so desperately tried clinging to.


End file.
